As we begin yet another new year, we thought we might take a somewhat different tack and start it out with a series of columns by sharing some of the humor and interesting information we have encountered in our email inbox.
In a year in which we hope for recovery, restoration and relaxation with which to face whatever might be coming down the road, we thought a month of jokes, interspersed with a tad bit of learning mostly useless things, might just do the trick. And thus we present a treasure trove of this and that from our email bag.
We start with the following thoughts on life ...
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over 50 for Miss America ?
When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.”
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press “Ctrl Alt Delete” and start all over?
Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn’t you know it....Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
And remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
And then, there are these fun facts, which may or may not still be true, but can, nonetheless, be called up at will to amaze family and friends ...
ALABAMA ... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968.
ALASKA ... One out of every 64 people has a pilot’s license.
ARIZONA ... Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn’t follow Daylight Savings Time.
ARKANSAS ... Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.
CALIFORNIA ... Has an economy so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.
COLORADO ... Became, in 1976, the only state to turn down the Olympics.
CONNECTICUT ... Invented the Frisbee at Yale University.
DELAWARE ... Has more scientists and engineers than any other state.
FLORIDA ... Has the U.S.’ largest city, Jacksonville, at 759 square miles.
GEORGIA .... Is where, in 1886, pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola.
HAWAII ... Has a population that lives, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state.
IDAHO ... Invented TV in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.
ILLINOIS ... Is where the Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick’s Day.
INDIANA ... Is home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which gets a half million letters to Santa every year.
IOWA ... Is the home to Winnebago County from which Winnebagos get their name. Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels.
KANSAS ... Has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz in Liberal, Kansas.
KENTUCKY ... Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox.
LOUISIANA ... Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.
MAINE ... Is so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.
MARYLAND ... Is where The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892.
MASSACHUSETTS ... Named the Fig Newton after Newton, Massachusetts.
MICHIGAN ... Where Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.
MINNESOTA ... Sports Bloomington’s Mall of America which is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you’d be there nearly four days.
MISSISSIPPI ... Is where President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear, which resulted in the teddy bear getting its name.
MISSOURI ... Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.
MONTANA ... Produced a sapphire that is in the Crown Jewels of England.
NEBRASKA ... Has had more triplets born there than in any other state.
NEW HAMPSHIRE ... Is the birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.
NEW JERSEY ... Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.
NEW MEXICO ... Is where Smokey Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire.
NEW YORK ... Is home to the nation’s oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk.
NORTH CAROLINA ... Is the home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.
NORTH DAKOTA ... Can claim the exact geographic center of North America in Rigby, North Dakota.
OHIO ... Invented the hot dog here in 1900.
OKLAHOMA ... Is where the grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.
OREGON ... Has the most ghost towns in the country.
PENNSYLVANIA ... Is where the smiley — :) — was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University.
RHODE ISLAND ... Has the nation’s oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, which opened in 1673.
SOUTH CAROLINA ... Is home, in Sumter County, to the world’s largest gingko farm.
SOUTH DAKOTA ... Is the only state that’s never had an earthquake.
TENNESSEE ... Is home to Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry, which is the longest running live radio show in the world.
TEXAS ... Is where Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885.
UTAH ... Was the site of the first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, which opened in 1952.
VERMONT ... Has the only state capital, Montpelier, without a McDonald’s.
VIRGINIA ... Is home to the world’s largest office building, namely the Pentagon.
WASHINGTON ... Can claim that Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state.
WASHINGTON, D.C. ... Was the first planned capital in the world.
WEST VIRGINIA ... Had the world’s first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.
WISCONSIN .... Is where the ice cream sundae was invented in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays.
And finally, WYOMING ... Was the first state to allow women to vote. And the rest is history.
PLEASE NOTE: Comments regarding this column may be made by mail at 105 Pioneer St., Cooperstown, N.Y. 13326, by telephone at 547-8124 or by email at cellsworth1@stny.rr.com
