By MICHELLE MILLER
Staff Writer

Not every child grows up wanting to become a funeral home director.

However, Peter Deysenroth said he believes it has always been his calling.

``It is something I have always wanted to do,’’ he said.

Deysenroth, who is now the sole owner of the Connell Dow & Deysenroth Inc. Funeral Home at 82 Chestnut St. in Cooperstown, said he became interested in the afterlife when he was nine-years-old. He said he became intrigued with the process when his grandfather died.

``I began asking a lot of questions,’’ he said.

A few years later, Deysenroth said his other grandfather died and the funeral director was very kind to him and took him under his wing. He gave me a tour of the funeral home and answered all my questions, said Deysenroth.

``I think it has always been a part of me to do this,’’ he said.

Deysenroth, who grew up in Weston Connecticut, said most of his peers were interested in going to Ivy League colleges, but he did not feel he fit into that mold. He said when he went to the guidance counselor to see what he would have to do to get into the funeral business, the counselor was not prepared with many answers. He had never had anyone ask about that profession before, said Deysenroth, who said he did most of the leg-work himself.

According to Deysenroth, after a lot of research he had three options, an institute in New York City, Boston or Syracuse.

Deysenroth said he settled on the Simmons School of Mortuary Science, now called the Simmons Institute of Funeral Service, Inc. in Syracuse. Before heading off to Syracuse, Deysenroth said he spent a year taking liberal arts classes at Herkimer County Community College, where he received his associate’s degree in applies science. He then went on to the Simmons Institute where his studies were more specific, such as embalming.

``I learned the basics in college, but really started learning more once I got out into the field,’’ said Deysenroth.

Deysenroth went back to Connecticut once he earned his diploma to serve his residency at the Raymond Funeral Home in Norwalk, Conn. Deysenroth said there he met his mentors Harold Searles and Chet Hatch, owners of the business.

The funeral home was eventually sold, according to Deysenroth, who worked there for about eight years. Deysenroth said the new owner was away a lot so he had to learn to ``sink or swim.’’

``I really learned a lot during that time,’’ said Deysenroth. ``I learned a lot by trial and error.’’

Deysenroth said he moved to New York in October of 1994, a year before marrying his wife, Maria. According to Deysenroth, he met Maria through his brother, who met his wife, Maria’s sister, while studying to become a dairy farmer at Delhi College of Technology.

According to Deysenroth, he and his wife lived at the funeral home in Cooperstown until their son Erik, now 9, was born. The family found a home in between Fly Creek and Toddsville.

``It is close enough so I can be here within a matter of minutes, but at the same time it is nice to have a home to go home to,’’ said Deysenroth.

Finding a funeral home was not an easy task for Deysenroth. He said he contacted just about every funeral home in Delaware, Otsego and Schoharie counties. Nobody needed a funeral home director until one night James Dow, former owner of the business, called, said Deysenroth. Deysenroth said he was interviewed for the job and got it. The following year Deysenroth entered into a 10-year buy-sell agreement that culminated in 2005.

``I really feel fortunate to have found Cooperstown, this funeral home and was able to settle here,’’ said Deysenroth.

Deysenroth said the community is much smaller than the one he grew up in.

``Everybody knows everybody, which is a good thing,’’ he said.

It is neat to see how everyone is interconnected, to see who is related to whom, he added.

Deysenroth said the hardest part of his job is dealing with tragic deaths such as those that are unexpected or involve young people. He said the job is demanding because it consists of unpredictable hours.

``I am on call twenty-four seven,’’ said Deysenroth. ``It is a good thing my wife and son are very understandable of my unpredictable life.’’

Deysenroth said there have been many family gatherings he has either had to leave unexpectedly for or could not attend at all.

However, Deysenroth said he likes his job because every day and every family he serves is different. It is gratifying to be able to help families personalize a funeral or just make things a little easier for them while they are going through a hard time, said Deysenroth.

People do not come up to you and say, ``man that was a great funeral,’’ but just having someone come pat you on the shoulder and say ``thanks,’’ is worth more than a thousand words, said Deysenroth.

Change is inevitable with almost any business, and the funeral home business is no exception. Deysenroth said the biggest change he has seen since he began his career is the percentage of cremations.

``When I first started the percentage of cremations was probably at about 15 percent and now over half of the deaths handled end with cremation,’’ said Deysenroth.

There were only about three urns to pick from when Deysenroth began his profession and now there are books full of options, he said.

Another big change Deysenroth said he has noticed over the years is families trying to personalize a loved one’s funeral.

``They do not necessarily stay with the status quo,’’ said Deysenroth.

Deysenroth said he prides himself for spending a lot of time on detail in order to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible.

Some people want to go with the standards, while others want to be creative. ``It’s a business, but it’s a service to people even more so,’’ said Deysenroth. ``I really do think it is a calling.’’