Disclaimer: Because my
son more or less demanded
that I stop using him and
his life as material for my
column back when he was
12 or 13, I want to make it
perfectly clear to all my
readers (and any legal professionals
who are now retained
or may be retained
at some future time by
aforementioned son) that
this column is not about
him. It’s about me. The fact
that he happened to turn
21 on Saturday is mere coincidence.
So help me God.
Whenever I’m feeling
uncertain or like I may be
listing a bit off course, I like
to do this exercise that I
once heard Helen Gurley
Brown describe.
Imagine having tea or
coffee with your older, wiser,
more confident self.
What would she say? What
advice would she give?
Would she think you’re
worrying over all the right
things? Would she illuminate
a better way of getting
where you want to go? How
has her journey been different
(and richer?) than the
one you can currently imagine?
I know, it sounds hokey.
And I don’t believe that this
exercise has any kind of
magical properties. It’s just
a way to check in with myself
and articulate to myself
what I want and where I
might shift gears.
If only it were possible to
really jump into a time machine
and pour your younger
self a nice cup of tea and
experience. Putting aside
for just a moment the reality
that, at 21, I considered
myself too savvy and together
to have listened to
anyone’s wisdom, even my
own, here’s what I wish I
could go back and impart:
Today is ``some day’’ - as
in the mythical future date
when all conditions are perfectly
aligned to allow you
to pursue Big Scary
Dreams. When you say,
``Some day, I want to spend
s summer in Italy,’’ what
you really mean is, ``Since
I’m not going to figure out a
plan of action to make
something like that happen,
I think I’ll just feel inordinately
wistful for the
next 20 years every time I
watch a film set in Italy.’’
You don’t have to have a
fool-proof plan for the future.
If you keep waiting for
the plan to seem foolproof,
you’ll lose valuable time
that you could be using to
do things like figure out
how to take a trip to Italy
or learn how to paint.
It’s no disgrace to be less
than a wunderkind. Instead
of thinking of Mary Shelley
writing ``Frankenstein’’
when she was 19, think of
Frank McCourt, who spent
his career teaching high
school students, then wrote
``Angela’s Ashes’’ and won a
Pulitzer Prize after age 65.
You can spend years in
passive introspection and
self-reflection in hopes of
solving your problems and
discovering yourself. Or
you can spend hours actively
working to apply whatever
time, talents and resources
you have to solving
someone else’s problems,
and end up creating yourself
in the process.
You don’t always have to
be so savvy and together.
You’re the only one who’s
constantly watching to see
if you’ve made a mistake.
Elizabeth Trever Buchinger
still probably wouldn’t
listen to her time-traveling
self, but that makes life
more interesting. You can
connect with her at www.
moremindfulfamily.wordpress.
com.
Columns
This Wonderful Life: I wish someone had told me
- Columns
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From Fly Creek: Passing fronts and settled weather
(I owe the first part of this column to an informal writers’ workshop sponsored by the Smithy Pioneer Gallery. The small group, led by Gallery Director Danielle Newell, meets Sunday afternoons and is open to anyone interested in the writing craft. As a warmup exercise on that very rainy afternoon, we each wrote a few paragraphs on the weather and emotions. Here’s what that keen group prompted me to scribble down) The dour old Scotsman, the one featured in jokes without number about buying lottery tickets, pinching pennies, scorning worldly ways, etc., once silenced a friend who was praising the beautiful weather.
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: We're back from Michigan ...
Unfortunately, we once again find ourselves stuck in a time warp. When we look at the calendar, we realize that Labor Day is fast approaching. Yet, we seem to be operating under the misconception that it is still early July due in large part to the fact that we spent the almost five weeks from July 15 to August 17 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. We feel the summer has sailed by and we, unfortunately, have not kept pace.
Continued ... -
Otsego Herald: Censorship?
All those indebted to John Lawrence, Post-rider, and do not settle the same IMMEDIATELY may rely upon having to pay cost!! Otego, Aug. 24.
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In These Otsego Hills: 1984 comes to a close ... finally
As we continue traipsing through 1984, we realize that even though we were supposed to be covering the comings and goings of Cooperstown, we actually were able, even then, to touch on a number of pressing community, as well as personal, issues. Of course, much to the relief of the powers that were at CCS, the school was not among them. The he-we ran for the school board in 1984 and was elected. Thus the school was deemed off limits by the powers that were at the paper. But we discovered there was still a wide range of issues upon which we could write.
Continued ... -
Otsego Herald: New school book
From the Otsego Herald for Saturday, Aug. 18, 1810
Continued ... -
Book Notes: Books offer tennis insights
Professional tennis sometimes seems to be the ultimate life. Where else could you travel the world, earn gobs of money, get in great shape, and have groupies from the opposite sex chasing you all the time? And you get all your equipment free to boot (which may explain why players smash racquets without remorse). Quite a glamorous life, isn’t it?
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: Continuing our 1984 musings
Now that we have undertaken the beginnings of this column, we fear we find ourselves unable to stop our review of the early writings. In fact, we seem to be completely addicted to the project. And thus, we will continue to explore the very foundations on which this column has been built.
Continued ... -
Book Notes: Burnett's book recalls 'Golden Age'
It’s a shame that today’s young generation missed the golden age of television from the 1960s and 70s. The fact that Hollywood studios with their ``original’’ ideas of constantly remaking hit TV shows from that era into new movies and reunion specials is quite telling. Even Fox with its ``That 70’s Show’’ is a reminder of that whimsical time.
Continued ... -
Home Notes: A place to cherish
As we enter into the middle of summer, let us pause and relish in the fact that we have been blessed with such lovely weather.
Continued ... -
From Fly Creek: Hurray for Mother Bassett!
Just back from my annual week at Lake George’s Silver Bay, in company with about 600 other Quakers. As always, it was a great time: Friends shared silence in the early morning by the lake and during the day in the big brown-shingled tabernacle. (Silver Bay is an old YMCA camp.)
Continued ...
Plenty of fine stringed music and singing in the evenings; lots of daytime rocking-chair stints on the deep veranda, facing across rolling lawns and lake to green mountains and skies of startling blue. -
In These Otsego Hills: In the beginning
Our remembering Jerry in last week’s column has now lead us to muse about our early days of writing a weekly newspaper column.
Continued ... -
Book Notes: Prohibition should not be ignored
I was an American history major in college and one topic that my professors never discussed was prohibition.
Continued ... -
Otsego Herald: Elopement
From the Otsego Herald for Saturday, July 21, 1810 Compiled, with comments BY HUGH C. MACDOUGALL
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Home Notes: Personal Care is a rewarding occupation
When I was a young girl in the early 50’s my family would often take rides through Cooperstown and the Cherry Valley area.
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In These Otsego Hills: Remembering Jerry ...
Difficult as it is to believe, we have been a widow for eleven years this week. And yet it seems as if our late husband Jerry just died yesterday. The memory of it remains most vivid in our mind. We suppose there is much that we don’t remember about July 20, 1999. But we do remember just how much that day changed our life forever. We lost not only our spouse of 28 years, but also our best friend.
Continued ... -
Otsego Herald: Celebrating the 4th
From the Otsego Herald for Saturday, July 14, 1810 Compiled, with comments by
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Our Opinion: What’s good for the goose...
The board of trustees has decided to hire an engineer to review the work of CLA Site, the firm hired to do the site assessment and design work for the Village Gateway Project _ now known as the Cooperstown Intermodal Transit Project. That review will cost up to $12,000.
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From Fly Creek: ‘Thump-thump, dum-lum’
Since I last wrote to you I’ve been several times embraced to Mother Bassett’s bosom.
Continued ...
(Oh dear, I hope that’s not a disrespectful metaphor. But if you’ve seen photos, you know she was a handsome, dignified woman with an ample superstructure.) This time, for variety, the hospital visits at first seemed to have little to do with Parkinsonism. But a new problem had turned up that had me tested in every part of the hospital except obstetrics. -
In These Otsego Hills: Travels with The Widge...
We have decided that the role of grandmother is quite to our liking. As we have been told any number of times, as a grandparent it is perfectly acceptable to hold, play with and fawn over the grandchild until such time as said grandchild becomes fussy. And then, and this is the best part, it is completely within the purview of the grandparent to return the fussy grandchild to the parents. We love it.
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Otsego Herald: Shocking accident, American arrested
On Wednesday last, as Joseph Faulkner, esq. of Middlefield, was returning home from Cherry-Valley, a gust of wind arose up suddenly, a large Elm was blown across the road, directly on Mr. Faulkner, who, together with his horse was instantly killed.
Continued ...
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From Fly Creek: Passing fronts and settled weather
