Disclaimer: Because my
son more or less demanded
that I stop using him and
his life as material for my
column back when he was
12 or 13, I want to make it
perfectly clear to all my
readers (and any legal professionals
who are now retained
or may be retained
at some future time by
aforementioned son) that
this column is not about
him. It’s about me. The fact
that he happened to turn
21 on Saturday is mere coincidence.
So help me God.
Whenever I’m feeling
uncertain or like I may be
listing a bit off course, I like
to do this exercise that I
once heard Helen Gurley
Brown describe.
Imagine having tea or
coffee with your older, wiser,
more confident self.
What would she say? What
advice would she give?
Would she think you’re
worrying over all the right
things? Would she illuminate
a better way of getting
where you want to go? How
has her journey been different
(and richer?) than the
one you can currently imagine?
I know, it sounds hokey.
And I don’t believe that this
exercise has any kind of
magical properties. It’s just
a way to check in with myself
and articulate to myself
what I want and where I
might shift gears.
If only it were possible to
really jump into a time machine
and pour your younger
self a nice cup of tea and
experience. Putting aside
for just a moment the reality
that, at 21, I considered
myself too savvy and together
to have listened to
anyone’s wisdom, even my
own, here’s what I wish I
could go back and impart:
Today is ``some day’’ - as
in the mythical future date
when all conditions are perfectly
aligned to allow you
to pursue Big Scary
Dreams. When you say,
``Some day, I want to spend
s summer in Italy,’’ what
you really mean is, ``Since
I’m not going to figure out a
plan of action to make
something like that happen,
I think I’ll just feel inordinately
wistful for the
next 20 years every time I
watch a film set in Italy.’’
You don’t have to have a
fool-proof plan for the future.
If you keep waiting for
the plan to seem foolproof,
you’ll lose valuable time
that you could be using to
do things like figure out
how to take a trip to Italy
or learn how to paint.
It’s no disgrace to be less
than a wunderkind. Instead
of thinking of Mary Shelley
writing ``Frankenstein’’
when she was 19, think of
Frank McCourt, who spent
his career teaching high
school students, then wrote
``Angela’s Ashes’’ and won a
Pulitzer Prize after age 65.
You can spend years in
passive introspection and
self-reflection in hopes of
solving your problems and
discovering yourself. Or
you can spend hours actively
working to apply whatever
time, talents and resources
you have to solving
someone else’s problems,
and end up creating yourself
in the process.
You don’t always have to
be so savvy and together.
You’re the only one who’s
constantly watching to see
if you’ve made a mistake.
Elizabeth Trever Buchinger
still probably wouldn’t
listen to her time-traveling
self, but that makes life
more interesting. You can
connect with her at www.
moremindfulfamily.wordpress.
com.
Columns
This Wonderful Life: I wish someone had told me
- Columns
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Local Voices From Around the Globe: Mother's visit was a benchmark for this year
Last week, my mother made the 25-hour plane trip out to Thailand to visit her son, me, after nine months of having only choppy Skype sessions and scattered emails to give her an idea of what I look and act like since having left home last August.
Continued ... -
Local Voices From Around the Globe: World traveler calls Euro-Tour experience of a lifetime
While I've had a great time throughout my entire exchange, I can say hands down that the month of April brought me the best memories of my exchange if not some of the best of my entire life. What kind of wonder would bring me to say this? Simple. Euro-Tour.
Continued ... -
Maryland port attacked
Havre de Grace, May 3. "This morning, a little after the break of day, a British armed force, under cover of armed vessels which anchored in front of this town ... landed below a small breast work which had been roughly thrown up, and in which were one 9 and two 4 pounders, manned by 50 militia.
Continued ... -
Memoir reflects on 'roller-coaster life and career'
Apparently, the third time wasn't the charm. The way Reynolds described him, the third husband was worse than the first two combined and that's saying a lot. Eddie Fisher literally walked away from Reynolds and their two infant children to chase a sex goddess. At least he got his just desserts when Elizabeth Taylor tossed him aside for Richard Burton.
Continued ... -
Imagine what might have been ...
A while back we got a telephone call from a reader of this column wanting to know why we had not written a column in support of Otsego Manor continuing to be owned and operated by Otsego County. And even though we have followed the debate over this issue in the newspaper, we readily admitted we did not feel we knew enough about the situation to take a stand.
Continued ... -
Herpes virus brings harness racing to a halt
I've been going to harness horse race tracks my entire life. My family has been in the business for years.
Continued ... -
Time, if not traffic, moves on ...
It is with sadness we note the passing of two people who we have known since moving to Cooperstown in 1982.
Continued ... -
Canadian capital captured
Dear Sir, I have just returned from Fort Niagara, where I saw a Captain of the United States' navy. He is just from little York, the capital of Upper Canada, and gives the following account, which is confirmed in official dispatches from Gen. Dearborn to Gen. Lewis ...
Continued ... -
Local Voices From Around The Globe: Exchange is like a life in a year
All exchange students realize the credibility of this statement. Like all lives no exchange is the same, all are incredible unique exchanges. The metaphor of life, from baby to old age, extends to every part of the exchange.
Continued ... -
Movie depicting legendary Jackie Robinson does not disappoint
Going to the movies is not something I do often. I can count the number of times I have gone on my fingers, unless you include trips to the drive-in. And even so, it took me years before I made it to one of those -- going for the first time two summers ago.
Continued ... -
'Dubious' about weather, Hawkeyes 'suitable' nickname
Unfortunately, it seems to us that this spring has, thus far, been anything but spring like. In fact, we are still more than happy to stay bundled up in our polar fleece.
Continued ... -
'Who's on Worst?' reveals the ugly in baseball
The Baseball Hall of Fame celebrates the greatest players, managers and owners from our national pastime. Any of us who have watched Major League baseball have inevitably seen some of these immortals practicing their craft. But we have also likely witnessed a sample of their opposite brethren, players who shouldn't have been in the Major Leagues. Has there ever been a definitive source that "celebrates" the non-accomplishments of the worst that Major League baseball has to offer?
Continued ... -
Swallow talk and bluebird vigilance
I assume the swallows have returned to Capistrano. They have returned to Hawthorn Hill as well.
Continued ... -
Local Voices From Around the Globe: Life in Hungry has taken a turn for the better
I can truthfully say spring has finally arrived in Hungary. It's almost time to wear shorts and sandals, for summer will be just around the corner. This brings me great happiness and great sadness, my adventure is coming to a close. Really what a time it was, I don't think I can compare it to anything else.
Continued ... -
The importance of speaking up ...
Over the years we have come to understand that, in writing a weekly column, it is not possible to always please everyone. And such was the case with our column that ran at the end of March in which we wrote about our experience as in inpatient following a total hip replacement.
Continued ... -
Public schools created
The Common School Act of 1812 marked the start of New York's public school system. Much of the credit for this was due to the radical Otsego County politician Jedediah Peck (1747-1821). To quote the NY Education Department:
Continued ... -
Book takes readers on path for equal rights
One of the most troubling aspects of our history is race relations. It takes a long time to achieve true equality in a society when the heritage of one ethnic group is slavery and Jim Crow laws. Even today African Americans are more likely to be stereotyped as athletes than doctors, lawyers or entrepreneurs. The path to a "color-blind" nation is still a work in progress.
Continued ... -
Local Voices From Around the Globe: Experiencing India at every new turn
Come, sit down. Hold this and, wait ... ah, there you go. Obeying these commands, I found myself seated on the pavement, wearing a turban and attempting to make sounds out of a recorder-like instrument for the black cobras in the baskets not two feet away from me.
Continued ... -
Local Voices From Around the Globe: Will I be American or will I be Thai today?
When would someone have the ability to present themselves as a native of a country of their own choosing? When they’ve lived eight months as an exchange student, of course!
Continued ... - Second host family makes Hungary feel like home
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Local Voices From Around the Globe: Mother's visit was a benchmark for this year
