If it seems unlikely for a
vegetarian (that would be
me) to own a couple of table-
bound pigs, it probably
seems downright absurd
that their names should be
Tender and Delicious.
And yet, there they are,
in their little house, behind
their fence, a couple hundred
yards behind the
house here at Schoolhouse
Farm. They’ve been here
since earlier in the summer.
For my part, I’ve never
been so glad to have had a
series of sinus allergies that
have impaired my olfactory
abilities.
Having spent even just a
little bit of time with them,
I’ve begun to wonder exactly
how it is that pigs ever
became such a popular
farm animal. Perhaps it is
a testament to the supreme
gastronomical pleasure of
bacon and pork chops, because
they seem to be
among the more difficult
animals to bring from farm
to table.
First, there’s the smell.
Oh. My. Lord. The smell.
It would be more pleasant
to raise a herd of skunks
with major anxiety disorders.
Then there’s that legendary
pig intelligence.
Since I was a little girl, I’ve
heard people compare pigs
to dogs because of their intelligence.
I have it on good
authority that one of the
farmers at The Farmers’
Museum teaches the pigs
there to sit in order to get
their daily meals.
P.S. If you ever have
pigs, teach them to sit in order
to get their food. The
difference between a pig
who will sit and a pig who
just wants to eat is like the
difference between a wolf
and a golden retriever.
At my house, we have
wolves. They are small,
pink, oinking wolves, but
wolves nonetheless.
Remember the pig scene
in “The Wizard of Oz,” before
the twister and Dorothy’s
trip to the Yellow
Brick Road? Dorothy is
walking along the pigs’
fence like a balance beam,
and falls into their pen. All
the adults drop what they’re
doing and race to her rescue.
It’s not because she
fell; it’s because she fell into
a pen full of rutting, carnivorous
animals.
Are pork chops really
that good?
For my part, I try to
have as little interaction as
possible with Tender and
Delicious, especially Delicious.
Tender seems fairly resigned
to her fate as sustenance.
She stays in the pen.
She runs into the mini-barn
when people approach, and
timidly emerges when she
realizes that food is in the
offing. She sleeps like a
hamster under her straw.
Delicious, on the other
hand, is the alpha swine.
She hangs out near the
gate, rears up on her hind
legs to investigate visitors
and snorts out commands.
Feed me! Feed me! Feed
me!
She also gets out on a
semi-regular basis.
Their fence consists of
horizontal boards, like a
horse fence, reinforced inside
with a layer of welded
wire pig fencing that also
goes a couple of feet into
the ground to discourage a
tunneling escape.
Beneath the gate, there
lies a heavy railroad tie to
prevent the girls from exiting
there.
I should say that the
railroad tie is there sometimes,
because Delicious is
adept at moving it out of
her way when she feels the
need. She also has learned
to pull the wire away from
the wood in order to make
an escape.
To date, she has never
traveled far, just rooting
about the fields of Schoolhouse
Farm, trotting close
enough to the dining room
window to send our little
dogs into a flurry of fury.
And when she hears that
her human captives have
returned from their day
passes, she will venture
down to the driveway to
terrify and menace us.
Feed me! Feed me! Feed
me!
What human ancestor of
ours decided that this kind
of animal would make for
ideal livestock? Yes, their
meat is tender (and delicious,
from what I understand),
but the downside is
enormous. How did pigs
win out over, say, deer or
rabbits or one of those other,
gentler breeds that remain
``game’’ instead of
“livestock”?
I would ponder that longer,
but my captor is calling.
Feed me! Feed me! Feed
me!
Elizabeth Trever Buchinger
is contemplating a
BLT. You can connect with
her at www.moremindfulfamily.
wordpress.com.
Columns
This Wonderful Life: Are pork chops really that good?
- Columns
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In These Otsego Hills: The losses are adding up ...
It is with sadness that we note the passing of long time friend, and distantrelative, Jane Patrick. Over the years we have worked with Jane in a number of organizations including Women’s Club and the Community Advisory Committee at Bassett. And, of course, in later years we joined her, along with the other Dinner Belles, for any number of delicious meals. But we do think that our favorite memory that we shared with Jane was when we discovered, having both married Cooperstown natives, that we shared Cooperstown Christmas plans.
Continued ... -
Up On Hawthorn Hill: Bird Feeder?
Bird feeder is a relative term. At least that is the case around here. A few mornings ago we spotted the first rabbit to visit the feeders. Normally, all we see during the winter are rabbit tracks crisscrossing the gardens.
Continued ... -
From Fly Creek: Cheers for the Blue Rabbit!
My handwriting’s always been an embarrassment. Way back in elementary school, while most of the others were developing a clear, sometimes graceful hand (especially the girls), my penmanship showed no improvement.
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: This and that ...
We have found the weather so far this year to be on the unusual side. And while we have no problem with the fact that we have received very little snow, we are of the opinion that what we have had instead is not particularly to our liking either. In fact, we are very hesitant to venture out much as we live in fear that the rain will turn to mixed precipitation which will freeze into a sheet of ice. And we are definitely opposed to encountering a sheet of ice underfoot. In fact, we are so hesitant that we now have taken to canceling our participation in events based on what just might be a dubious forecast.
Continued ... -
Book Notes: Feinstein’s latest is sheer enjoyment
Most people who follow sports have probably heard of John Feinstein. As a nationally known author, sportswriter, pundit and broadcaster, he has brought a unique angle to sports journalism. His groundbreaking book on Bobby Knight’s 1986-87 Indiana University basketball team, “A Season on the Brink,” still resonates today as an all-time classic.
Continued ... -
Book Notes: No Trekkie should miss Shatner’s books
It would be hard to find a television phenomenon as popular as “Star Trek.” Even though it was only on television for three seasons and 79 episodes (1966-69) it attracted viewers and devotees that still follow it passionately 45 years later. The fanatical supportspawned several movies and television spinoffs. Star Trek conventions continue to this day. There has never been anything like it.
Continued ... -
Up on Hawthorn Hill: Making sense of things
A book I have been reading investigates the various ways over time that we have made sense of the world. It carries the reader through to the present via several seminal classical texts and ultimately aims to suggest a strategy for “ finding meaning in a secular age.”
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: ‘Property must be secured or liberty cannot exist.’ − John Adams
Last week we were asked if we would be interested in previewing a documentary, “The Empire State Divide,”produced by the Foundation for Land & Liberty. And we were more than happy to do so as we understood the documentary dealt with the problems that continue to face family farms.
Continued ... -
From Fly Creek: Now wait a minute!
On the ninth day of Christmas, driving down Cooperstown’s Eagle Street, I saw something astounding! No, not “nineladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans” etc. I saw one jogger jogging. And puffing on a cigarette.
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: Goals of the past and goals of the future
We have long subscribed to the concept that we are always more successful if we, number one, set a goal and then, number two, meet it. And this was our thinking when we decided before Christmas to watch at least part of every college football bowl game. It was perhaps an odd, if not completely nonsensical, goal.
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: Not to our liking ...
It is with sadness that we note the recent death of Steve Nagel. The son-inlaw of our late husband’s cousins, Alice and Harvey Eckler of Fly Creek, Steve was married to the Ecklers’ oldest daughter, Gail. We had the pleasure of spending Christmas Eve with the Nagels and the Ecklers in Fly Creek, greatly enjoying the delicious food and delightful conversation.
Continued ... -
Up on Hawthorn Hill: Of birds and faith
I watch birds quite a bit. Every five days or so I send in a report to Cornell as partof its annual Project Feeder Watch program. The data, collected from volunteers from all over the country, enables scientists to track population trends. I would spend quite a bit of time checking out the visitors to our feeders anyway. Participating in the feeder program makes a personal pleasure that much more meaningful. It is rare that aesthetical and scientific endeavors work in tandem.
Continued ... -
Book Notes: Biography captures the real Stephen Colbert
It would be hard to find a comedian as unique as Stephen Colbert. As the host of “The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central he hasmanaged to leave his mark on the nation’s consciousness in both a serious and humorous sort of way. His unusual wit has allowed him to become American icon. It would be difficult to find another entertainer quite like him.
Continued ... -
From Fly Creek: Christmas and varied blessings
I’m still astounded! The last farmers’ market before Christmas, I was sitting up front, directly under the ceiling heater, shmoozing with the hoi-polloi. (That’s an awkward linguistic mix,but let’s let it go.) As I sipped my hot coffee, a gloved hand came to rest on my shoulder and a warm voice said, “Merry Christmas, Jim.” I looked to my left—it was Santa Claus!
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In These Otsego Hills: Always a learning experience ...
We must admit that we thoroughly enjoyed our 2011 Christmas celebration. We partook of Christmas Eve dinner at the home of Alice and Harvey Eckler of Fly Creek and Christmas Day dinner at the home of Sandy and Al Bullard of Milford. We had our usual Christmas Day brunch at home on Pioneer Street, although we must admit it was a tad bit later than usual as, what we enjoyed most about Christmas, namely our granddaughter Abby, took a great deal of time opening her Christmas presents.
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In These Otsego Hills: Coming up ... 2012
Difficult as it seems, 2011 is fast coming to an end. And it is always our hope that as a year draws to a close, the issues which have been in the forefront during the year will be resolved. Unfortunately, we suspect that will not be the case this year. Instead, we are fairly certain that many of the issues that plagued this year, will continue to plague next year. Thus we will find ourselves still musing about the same issues we have spent time with already. And while we have not come toany conclusions about many of the issues, we do think they would all likely benefit from both sides thinking critically about perspective, risk assessment and possible solutions.
Continued ... -
Up on Hawthorn Hill: Circularity
When she was a puppy my dog Gabby would run in what I described then as “circles of joy.” She celebrated her15th birthday a few weeks ago and despite the inevitable frailties that old age imposes upon all of us, she is doing pretty well.
Continued ... -
Book Notes: Grisham doesn’t disappoint
John Grisham is one of this country’s most popular authors. Every time he publishes a book it’s an instant best-seller. He appeared on the scene about 20 years ago with his tense legal thrillers, “A Time to Kill” and “The Firm,”and hasn’t stopped producing top-notch novels since.
Continued ... -
From Fly Creek: Still singing, beyond our hearing
This column from Christmas 2001 still speaks deeply to me, and perhaps will to you, too. Take it, please, as my Christmas gift.
Continued ... -
In These Otsego Hills: The 2011 Cooperstown Carol
Since 1984, with the exception of one year, 1999, we have looked forward at the end of the year to going through all the issues of the paper in order to glean those news items which have been worthy of note throughout the year and which should make their way into our annual Cooperstown Carol.
Continued ...
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In These Otsego Hills: The losses are adding up ...
